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...School provides online sex courses on every topic from polyamory to BDSM. Anyone can access them, and pay is via tips. If you've wished you could retake sex ed as an adult, this is your chance.
...If you ask people where they learned the most about sex, chances are that most of them won’t say “school.” The only thing many of us learned about sex in school, is not to have it. (If we were lucky, we might have learned how to put a condom on a banana.) Fortunately, when it comes to sex ed, the internet has picked up where school left off.
There's all kinds of information you can find on the internet, though, and a lot of it is more like misinformation. Relying on mainstream porn for sex ed is not the best idea, since that might lead you to believe that all genitals are clean-shaven, everyone loves blow jobs, and all women orgasm through intercourse (all false). “The issue is not porn,” Make Love Not Porn creator Cindy Gallup tells Bustle. “The issue is this total absence in our society of an open honest healthy conversation around sex in the real world, which if it were had, people would then bring a real-world mind set when they view what is essentially artificial entertainment.”
Since we’re not getting that education from most mainstream porn or the real world, here are some sites where you can find accurate, helpful answers to your burning sex questions.
...Relationships and sex education (RSE) is learning about the emotional, social and physical aspects of growing up, relationships, sex, human sexuality and sexual health. It should equip children and young people with the information, skills and positive values to have safe, fulfilling relationships, to enjoy their sexuality and to take responsibility for their sexual health and well-being.
The Sex Education Forum believes that good quality RSE is an entitlement for all children and young people and must:
...Relationships Education in primary schools will protect children.
The new Governmnet guidance sets out the content under the following headings: ‘Families and people who care for me’, ‘Caring friendships’, ‘Respectful relationships’, ‘Online relationships’, ‘Being safe’.
There is widespread agreement that children need to be able to recognise abusive behaviour and to know how to seek help if they are worried about abuse or experience it. The new guidance states that by the end of primary school all children should know: ‘how to report concerns or abuse, and the vocabulary and confidence needed to do so’.
The Sex Education Forum believes that Relationships Education should promote equal, safe and enjoyable relationships and be taught in a way which fosters LGBT and gender equality, in line with the Equalities Act 2010. The new Government guidance is compatible with this.
...In the new Government guidance DfE continues to recommend that all primary schools ‘have a sex education programme tailored to the age and the physical and emotional maturity of the pupils'.
The guidance continues: 'Schools are to determine the content of sex education at primary school. Sex education ‘should ensure that both boys and girls are prepared for the changes that adolescence brings and – drawing on knowledge of the human life cycle set out in the national curriculum for science - how a baby is conceived and born’.
Health Education will be mandatory in all primary schools in England (except Independent Schools who have separate requirements on PSHE education as per the Independent Schools Standard) from September 2020. Health Education includes a section for primary and secondary schools on puberty, the changing adolescent body, menstrual wellbeing and the menstrual cycle.
Relationships Education, Health Education, science and sex education work together to protect children by ensuring they have knowledge of their bodies, the human life-cycle, emotions, acceptable behaviour and right and wrong.
...The Children and Social Work Act 2017 introduces new legislation on relationships and sex education in schools. In July 2018 the Government set out plans for implementaion encouring schools that are ready to start teaching the new curriculum from September 2019 and enabling schools needing more support to use the additional time to prepare to teach high quality RSE from September 2020.
Current laws on RSE
Currently maintained secondary schools have to provide sex education but the only topic they must cover is HIV, AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections. Maintained primary and secondary schools must follow the National Curriculum, which includes some aspects of sex education in Science.
Maintained primary and secondary schools must also have an up-to-date policy that describes the content and organisation of SRE taught outside the Science Curriculum. If the decision is taken not to teach SRE outside the Science Curriculum this should also be documented in the policy. It is the responsibility of the schools governing body to ensure that the policy is developed and made available to parents. Parents have a right to withdraw their children from SRE taught outside the Science Curriculum.
All state-funded schools must pay due regard to the Government guidance on Sex and Relationships Education, currently this is the DfEE guidance published in 2000. The guidance recommends that schools teach the broader subject of sex and relationships education - and advise that this be taught as part of personal, social and health education (PSHE).
New requirements on RSE
New guidance and regulations have been passed in Parliament and will apply from September 2020. The new requirements are that all secondary schools teach RSE and all primary schools teach Relationships Education and recommended that all primary schools have a programme of sex education.
....The Children and Social Work Act 2017 introduces new legislation on relationships and sex education in all schools in England.
The new legislation makes relationships and sex education (RSE) a compuslory requirement for all secondary schools including academies, free schools, independent schools and maintained schools. All primary schools are required to provide relationships education. The new legislation includes special schools.
The legislation is set out in Chapter 4, Section 34 of the Children and Social Work Act 2017. New government guidance and regulations provide further detail, and will apply to all schools from September 2020.
...Government guidance on SRE published in 2000, states that all schools must have an up-to-date policy that is made available for inspection and to parents and that pupils, teachers, parents and the wider community be involved in developing and reviewing the policy. The guidance states that the policy must:
The current government guidance (2000) includes further advice about topics that should be covered by the SRE policy.
Under the new guidance (2019) schools will still need a policy on RSE. Primary schools will need to define Relationships Education and define any sex education they choose to teach other than that covered in the science curriculum. Seconcary schools will need to define Relationships and Sex Education. All schools will need to:
Typical policies are likely to include sections covering:
The Sex Education Forum has produced SRE policy guidance to help you review and develop your policy.
...The new legislation brought in through the Children and Social Work Act 2017 will bring about some important changes in relation to parental rights to withdraw children from school RSE:
Full details of the new requirements are available in the new Government RSE guidance available from Gov.uk
....Most parents are very supportive of schools providing relationships and sex education, and also want to play a part in educating their children at home.
- 78% of parents want primary schools to teach their children about the difference between safe and unwanted touch and how to speak up if someone treats them inappropriately, 11% did not want primary schools to teach this and 11% ‘did not know’ (Independent poll of 1000 parents, Sex Education Forum, 2014).
- 72% of parents think primary schools should teach children about what to do if they find pictures showing private parts of the body online or are asked to send them. (Independent poll of 1000 parents, Sex Education Forum, 2014).
- 92% of parents support the teaching of PSHE education (which includes lessons about staying safe from abuse) in all schools (YouGov poll, PSHE Association, 2016)
Young people say that school is their preferred first choice for RSE, followed by their parents, but currently many parents are falling short in providing RSE at home:
- For boys, the main source of sex education while growing up is school (39%), followed by friends (24%), with fathers accounting for 3% and mothers 4%.
Effective RSE is a partnership between parents and schools. Parents need to be given adequate information about what is taught and when. School-home communication about RSE should start early so that parents can anticipate topics covered at school and make their own timely input or follow up at home. And parents have just as much right to expect good quality teaching in RSE as in other subjects.
- 80% of parents think RSE teachers should be trained to teach it (Independent poll of 1000 parents, Sex Education Forum, 2018).
To fully meet the needs of children and young people there is a need for proactive support for parents and carers to have an active role in providing RSE at home, and improved and ongoing home-school RSE communication can make an important contribution to this.
...Children are interested in 'where babies comes from' and what makes boys and girls different from a very young age. So don't worry - it is natural for children to be curious and ask these questions.
Children take in the information around them about sex and relationships from a very young age even if no-one talks to them about it. Many of the things they pick up are incorrect and confusing. For this reason it is important that parents and carers answer their children's questions to help them make sense of it all.
Adults often find questions about sex and relationships difficult and embarrassing - but if adults are able to answer in an honest and confident way this will set the tone for children - making it easier for them to bring up similar topics as they are growing up. There is advice available for parents as well as resources such as story books.
Good quality RSE is taught through a spiral curriculum which develops with the child. RSE begins with teaching children about appropriate behaviour, safety and basic understanding of their bodies and how families care for them. Five year olds are not taught about how people have sex.
In a poll of 1000 parents of school-aged children, 78% said they wanted primary schools to teach children about the difference between safe and unwanted touch and how to speak up if someone treats them inappropriately, whilst 72% of parents felt that primary schools should educate children on what to do if they find online pictures showing private body parts or are asked to send them.
The Sex Education Forum curriculum design tool sets out questions to explore in RSE by age and stage and be used to help construct a sprial and developmental programme.
...The new legislation places RSE and Relationships Education in the basic school curriculum. This allows schools flexibility in developing their programme as part of a broad and balanced curriculum.
RSE will not be a National Curriculum subject so there is unlikely to be a new programme of study, as there is for other National Curriculum subjects. There is also no obligation to examine the subject at GCSE level, for example.
Final new Government guidance on RSE has been passed by Parliament. This will apply to schools from September 2020. This includes tables of content that list what pupils should know 'by the end of primary' and 'by the end of secondary'. This guidance will be finalised ahead of September 2019, with all schools required to follow it by September 2020. The Government expects schools to start making preparations now, and endorses the supplementary advice: ‘SRE for the 21st Century’, which was produced by the Sex Education Forum, Brook and PSHE Association in 2014.
See Government policy statement on RSE, Relationships Education and PSHE, published in March 2017.
We have produced a curriculum design tool, available from our Resources area, which demonstrates how to take a spiral, developmental approach to designing a programme of RSE, from early years through secondary and beyond to further education.
Our 'statement of commitment' sets out 12 principles which underpin good quality, evidence-based RSE.
...There are a range of relationships and sex education resources produced by voluntary sector organisations, local authorities and commercial companies.
The Sex Education Forum does not recommend specific resources but instead encourages each school or institution to review the materials they use to make sure they are suitable for the children and young people they are working with. This will ensure that you are confident with the materials and they are appropriate to the needs of the group.
When choosing resources you may want to consider the following:
Under the new Government guidance schools will continue to have flexibility to choose what resources they use. When teachers have adequate subject knowledge in RSE they are able to recognise factually, and medically correct information, and to use a range of resources skilfully to support discussion and challenge discrimination.
A feature of all Sex Education Forum training courses is the opportunity to handle and try out a range of RSE resources produced from across the spectrum of our partners. While we do not quality assure individual resources all of our partners work in-line with our values and principles for RSE. Several our partners produce RSE resources covering a wide range of aspects of RSE.
...Homophobia, biphobia and transphobia like any form of discrimination, should be tackled though a whole school approach. Schools should provide a safe environment for all pupils regardless of sexual orientation.
Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE) and Citizenship should give children and young people the opportunity to discuss diversity and difference, and RSE sessions should allow young people to discuss different types of relationships and explore their attitudes. Government SRE Guidance (DfEE 2000) clearly states that "teachers should be able to deal honestly and sensitively with sexual orientation, answer appropriate questions and offer support."
New Government guidance states that LGBT content should be integral throughout the programmes of study, not a stand-alone lesson. The guidance also states that schools should ensure that all of their teaching is sensitive and age-appropriate in approach and content. Delivering RSE with reference to the law is also a key tenet of the guidance.
It is a requirement of the Equality Act 2010 that the curriculum is taught in an inclusive way that does not discriminate. An increasing number of schools are teaching about LGBT issues (Stonewall, 2017). However, the poor mental health of LGBT people remains alarmingly high:
- Nearly half of lesbian, gay, bi and trans pupils (45 per cent) – are bullied for being LGBT at school. This compares with 65 per cent in 2007 (Stonewall, 2017) 5
- Nearly one in ten trans pupils (nine per cent) are subjected to death threats at school (Stonewall, 2017)
- One in eight LGBT people aged 18-24 (13 per cent) said they’ve attempted to take their own life in the last year (Stonewall / YouGov 2018)
LGBT inclusion in RSE helps tackle homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying. It does not encourage any particular lifestyle. In primary school, when learning about families and ‘how they care for us’, children learn about the diverse range of families, so it is easy to include families with same-sex parents. Challenging gender stereotypes is important throughout primary and secondary school, and contributes to tackling sexual harassment and sexual violence in schools and in society.
There are lots of resources that schools can choose from to ensure their teaching about relationships is inclusive and clear about equality.
Staff should also be supported to explore their own attitudes and training needs to ensure they are able to challenge homophobic behaviour and language both in and outside the classroom. The Sex Education Forum has developed a training course on LGBT inclusive RSE (one for primary and one for secondary level), which includes a free e-learning training programme that can be cascaded to all school staff.
...Scarleteen calls itself a source of “inclusive, comprehensive, supportive sexuality and relationships info for teens and emerging adults,” but I’m still learning from it in my 20s. The information is not just enlightening but also inclusive, with pages on sex and disability, polyamory, and myths about the hymen.
...This app and website includes a forum where users can get answers to all their sex questions from experts. It’s also got pages on consent, periods, lube, and a ton of other topics related to sexuality and sexual health.
...Amy Boyajian, a former dominatrix, created the online sexual wellness boutique Wild Flower after seeing how exclusionary and oppressive the sex industry could be. To combat sexism, racism, and beauty standards, Wildflower uses completely gender-neutral language, and the toys it lists don’t resemble body parts, use racialized marketing, or get categorized by gender.