...As an individual from a non Indo-Pak background marrying into an Indian family, I had the very interesting experience of having a completely Indian wedding. Having experienced Indo-Pak wedding ceremonies both as a spectator and a participant, I had the opportunity to create some very unique memories.

What to Expect at an Indian Wedding

There is so much religious, cultural and linguistic variety in the Indo-Pak region that it is impossible to catalog the specifics of each and every Indian ceremony. However, there are certain basic characteristics that are common to most, if not all, Indian weddings.

First of all, Indian ceremonies tend to be very colorful. There is a particular color associated with each portion of the ceremony. For example, during the mehendi, where the bride's hands are decorated with hennah designs, she is required to wear a yellow or orange outfit. These two colors are meant to represent the color of the hennah itself. On the day of the marriage, the bride is expected to wear red, in addition to an assortment of jewelry and other accessories. The guests are similarly turned out in equally bright colors.

Indian cermonies are also characterized by traditional wedding songs, often meant to poke good-natured fun at the in-law's family. Using sweetmeats as a metaphor for the sweetness of married life is another common feature of Indian weddings. Often, the bride and groom will feed each other sweets in hopes of a long and happy marriage.

Bridal Preparations

The concept of "sola singhar" is very central to this occasion. The literal term may vary from region to region, but the basic premise is the same. The best English translation is "decked out" or "to the nines." An Indian bride is expected to look her absolute best on her wedding day.

I personally experienced these ministrations for my own wedding ceremony. For an individual who prefers jeans and a T-shirt to anything else, transforming me into an Indian bride was not an easy task for my in-laws. Typically, the bride is expected to wear a heavy brocaded sari, gold rings, necklaces, hair ornaments, matching gold shoes and purse and an equally heavy amount of make-up.

Becoming sola singhar is serious business!

Indian vs. Western Weddings

One of the main differences between Indian and Western weddings is in the length of the preceding events. Normally, the celebration lasts at least three days (and as much as three weeks or more in certain regions), with various ceremonies and rituals to mark the passing of each stage. In addition, as a whole, Indian weddings are much more colorful and filled with pageantry than Western weddings.

However, the basic premise is the same-the celebration of life, love and commitment.

Native American Wedding Ceremonies

Native American wedding ceremonies are full of rich tradition and ceremonies that differ greatly from traditional American weddings. Whether you want to have a fully traditional Native American wedding ceremony or seek only to add elements from those ceremonies into your celebration as a nod to your heritage, there are numerous customs from which you can choose.

General Elements of Traditional Weddings

Native American wedding ceremony may include similar elements to those of contemporary wedding ceremonies, albeit with a very distinct interpretation.

Native American Wedding Dresses and Groom's Attire

Many couples wear ceremonial clothing for special occasions like weddings, often referred to as regalia. Native American brides often wear red or other bright colors instead of white to their ceremony, and their dress may be passed down through generations, according to Native Net. Depending on the tribe, location, and type of wedding, some women and men may wear modern wedding attire. Ceremonial clothing can differ from tribe to tribe. For example:

• Cherokee: In a Cherokee wedding, the bride wears all white garb consisting of a white dress and moccasins. The dress in colonial times was made from pieces of cloth that tribal women tore into squares or rectangles. Some women today wear traditional style tear dress (made of calico and featuring geometric shapes). Cherokee grooms traditionally wore black pants, moccasins, and a red shirt adorned with ribbons.
• Algonquin: Brides and grooms wore traditional clothing which may be made by hand.
• Northern California Tribes: Some tribes traditionally used symbolic colors like blue, yellow, and black in wedding attire.
• Hopi and Delaware: Some tribes traditionally wore deerskin leggings as part of the bridal attire.

Jewelry

The American Indian Heritage Foundation (AIHF) reports that historically, Native Americans did not create jewelry like wedding rings. However, contemporary tradition includes them in metals like sterling silver using turquoise stones for ladies' rings or opal for men's rings.

Music and Dance

Flutes, vocals, and drums were used during special ceremonies like weddings. Some tribes have special ritual dances that may be performed at social occasions like weddings. These dances may include the crow hop, shake dance, round dance, or ribbon dance notes of the Nanticoke Indian Tribe.

Native American Wedding Vows

Each tribe has different events and sayings that occur during the exchange of vows. One of the processes of exchanging vows is referred to as the Rite of the Seven Steps. The creation of this Rite can be attributed to numerous tribes throughout the nation, reports the Manataka American Indian Council. Although no "bridal party" as it is known today is involved in traditional Native American weddings, this exchange involves guests.

In the Rite, the couple takes seven steps clockwise around a sacred fire. The groom takes the first step, stops and recites a vow. The bride follows suit. This ritual continues until both the bride and groom complete seven steps. In some instances, the bride and groom exchange small gifts symbolizing their love and life together, such as ears of corn, feathers or stones, at each step. Corn represents fertility, feathers loyalty, and stones strength. As the bride and groom take their symbolic walk, guests join hands and form a circle around them and the fire.

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Ceremonies

Traditional Native American weddings can include one or more of several smaller ceremonies within the larger one:

Water Ceremony

The Museum of Man reports that at Navajo weddings, brides may pour water on the groom's hands to represent their new union. Native Net notes that both the bride and groom wash their hands in order to remove old memories and past wrongdoings.

Basket Ceremony

In this ceremony, according to the Manataka American Indian Council, the bride and groom exchange baskets filled with gifts. The baskets symbolize the dowries traditionally required to be exchanged by the bride and groom's families. Gifts may consist of bread, corn, and meat.

Vase Ceremony

Tribes in the Southeast and Southwest may perform a wedding vase unity ceremony, in which they fill a vase with two holes on either side with water. The bride and groom drink from the water pouring from the vase as a toast to their union. A couple that can drink simultaneously without spilling a drop is anticipated to have good understanding with them throughout their marriage. First Nation Ministry notes that the Cherokee is one specific tribe who uses the vase ceremony.

Ring Ceremony

Because metal was not available in historic ceremonies, rings were not traditionally exchanged in Native American weddings. However, an exchange of rings has become popular in modern times. This ceremony is simple, with the bride and groom exchanging rings to symbolize eternal love that has no beginning and no end. There are no specific vows or words that must be said during the exchange of rings, and it can occur at any time during the ceremony.

Fire Ceremony

The Manataka American Indian Council states that, in this ceremony, a fire circle is created using stones and seven types of wood. There is one large, unlit stack of firewood built in the center of the circle and two small fires built that sit to the north and south of the circle. These small fires represent the bride and groom's individual lives. After the two small fires are lit, prayers are offered by the bride and groom and they then push their individual fires into the center stack of wood, igniting one large fire.

Choosing a Special Location

Native American tribes have many sacred places all over the country. According to Native American Roots, the following are of special importance:

• Bull Lake in Wyoming is a sacred place for the Shoshone.
• Bear Butte in South Dakota is sacred to the Cheyenne.
• Near Cedar Bluffs, Nebraska, five sacred hills called the pahuk are sacred to the Pawnee.
• North Dakota hills in the area of Knife River, Heart River, and Little Missouri River are considered sacred among the Hidatsa.
• In Arizona, the San Francisco Peaks rising on the western edge of the Colorado Plateau are considered sacred by the Hopi.
• The Sweetgrass Hills in Montana are sacred to several tribes including the Blackfoot, Kootenai, Gros Ventre, Assiniboine, Salish, and Cree.
• Bighorn Medicine Wheel in Wyoming is considered sacred to many tribes, including the Cheyenne, the Crow, and the Shoshone.
• In Minnesota, the Pipestone National Monument has also been considered a sacred area of peace by many tribes.

...While planning a wedding in a sacred location may be extra special, it is important to pay attention to two common denominator: nature and an intent of sacredness.

Choosing a Time and Season

The Native American celebrations calendar is full of meaninful ceremonies celebrating rites of passage, commemoration of ancestral rites, and honoring different elements of nature and life. While these events are of great importance to individual tribes, they are completely independent from wedding celebrations. According to the Manataka American Indian Council, marriage celebrations were held when it was convenient for both families. It is understood that Spring and Autumn, when there is an abundance of food and natural beauty was particularly propitious, but weddings were not limited to this or any other season.

Sunrise, Sunset, All Day, Several Days

Different tribes hold their wedding celebrations at different times. For instance:

• The Hopi traditionally started the marriage rituals on the sunrise of the chosen date and concluded them two weeks later in the evening.
• The Cherokee exchanged intentions at their local townhouse, and seven days later held the ceremonial rites at sundown by the fire.
• The Mohawk also traditionally got married at sundown and had a huge feast afterwards.

Each tribe and each clan within the tribe will have their own customs; some very similar, some different. However, the common factor is the importance of sharing this special moment with the community. When choosing a time to hold your wedding ceremony, consider the elements you will include in the ceremony and the capacity of friends and family to join you. For instance, if you are having a fire ceremony, you may want to hold it near sundown.